There is way too much bad Swedish language in books and advertising today. It doesn't seem like the modern advertising people on their “bureaux” learnt any spelling at all, in school. Grammar may not have been a very popular subject either. Sadly, the bad language that confronts us every day, is transferred to the reader, and onwards to the people he produces his texts for, whether it be his pupils in school, his children or his customers.

In this way, Swenglish (Swedish pidgin), InterCaps, the use of Proper Capitalisation in Swedish text and what we call “broken-up words” (i.e. direct translation of English into Swedish without connecting the words into the long combinations favoured in Swedish) continues to infest the language and is brought down the ages. A walk around Stockholm is a horror to the language minded. More and more young people get hold of computers and printers, and they print anything in elephant size and stick it to the wall.

Maybe restaurant menus are the funniest of all, veritable feasts in interesting spelling as they often are. Imagine a Turkish immigrant with little education, trying to spell French words on the menu of his restaurant. I'm not a racist, but when it comes to BIG SIGNS sitting in the street, blaring out “Antrecòt” and “Cor du filé Provensal” right in my face, I turn a whiter shade of pale.

The fight against lousy Swedish is a hard one, but I prefer to fight it.

Approved by Berlitz

I am approved by Berlitz Translation Services as technical translator for translations from English to Swedish, and I usually get to take care of their “difficult” texts, that they can't find anyone else to master.

My motto is: Translate, but don't overdo it. Most computer terms can be translated, but there are some you should not translate. If there is an expression that works well already, you better leave it because a translation could be offensive to people in the business.

Terminology Lists are Important

Many take terminology lists lightly. If you have such a list, I would like to have it. If you don't have one, I can make one for you. Otherwise there may be arguments regarding terms later in the project.

Humour

The Swedish page has some hilariously bad translations here, but since that would be pointless on an English page, I bring you some funny English texts instead. They have been around the Internet for a long time, but they are good anyway.

Instructions

For results that can be the finest, it is our advising that: Never to hold these button two times!! Except the battery. Next taking the (something) earth section may cause a large occurrence! However. If this is not a trouble, such rotation is a very maintenance action, as a kindly (something) viewpoint from drawing B.

Hotel Signs

• In a hotel in Tokyo: It is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do this is please not to read notis.
• In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.
• In a hotel lobby in Bucharest: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
• In a lift in Leipzig: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
• In a hotel lift in Belgrade: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
• In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
• In a hotel in Yugoslavia: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
• In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
• In the lobby of a Russian hotel just across the street from an orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery, where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
• In an Austrian ski resort: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
• In a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
• Outside a tailors shop in Hong Kong: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
• In a tailors shop in Rhodesia: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
• In a Soviet magazine: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.
• A sign in the Austrian Schwartzwald: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.
• In a hotel in Zurich: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for that purpose.
• In a laundry in Rome: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
• Donkey-riding in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?
• On the tap in a Finnish washing room: To stop the drip, turn cock to right.
• In a Swiss alp restaurant: Special today - no ice cream.
• In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
• In a Norwegian cocktail bar: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
• In a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
• A car rental brochure in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage, then tootle him with vigour.

 

Swedish Church wants Communists

The Swedish Church must really be out of people if they want Communists for their parishes. In Swedish, the word for assistanst vicar is “komminister”, very close to “kommunister” (Communists) and the wanted ad has the same spelling error twice. The Communists in question must also be good with the confirmands. That's tough. Such spelling errors are extra bad when published by organisations such as the Swedish Church. A little proofreading would definitely not hurt.